Last updated 29 October 2026
Who we are
Dear Eldest Daughter (“we”, “us”) runs deareldestdaughter.co. We're the data controller for the personal information you share with us, under the UK General Data Protection Regulation (UK GDPR), the Data Protection Act 2018 and, for members in the EU, the EU GDPR. You can reach us about anything in this notice at admin@deareldestdaughter.co.
What we collect, and why
Membership
Your email address, first name and password, so you can sign in. Your password is handled securely by our website platform, Wix, and we never see it.
Your member profile
The name or alias you choose to show, your birthday (day and month only), any milestones you add, your country and city, a short bio, your likes and dislikes, wishlist links, social media links and a profile photo. All of this is optional apart from a name and birthday, and it's only visible to other signed-in members. You can hide yourself from the calendar at any time.
Gift exchanges, like the Secret Santa
Your name, email, postal address, tier, match preference, bio, and likes and dislikes. We use these to match you, and we share your name, bio, likes and address with the one member who is sending you a gift. That only happens because you tick the box agreeing to it.
Pen pals
If you join the pen pal list, other signed-in members can see your profile, that you're open to writing, how you like to write and what you'd love to write about. We also keep your email and, if you choose letters, your postal address privately. Hello notes you send are passed to the member you wrote to. Your contact details are only shared, with that one pen pal, once you've both said yes.
Profiles, favourites and gifts by post
If you add your clothing and shoe sizes, other signed-in members can see them. Favourites you save are visible only to you. If a member asks to post you a gift, we email you first. If you say yes, we email the postal address you give us to that one member so she can send it, then delete it from our records. We keep a note of the request itself (who asked, who for and the occasion) so we can help if anything goes wrong.
Chip-ins
If you chip in, the checkout collects your name, email and payment details. Card payments are processed by Stripe through Wix, and we never see your full card details. We keep a record of the payment for our accounts.
Other forms
If you contact us, join the waitlist or nominate someone for an Angel Gift, we keep what you send us so we can reply or act on it. If you nominate someone, please only share what she'd be happy for us to know.
Cookies and similar technology
We use only what the site needs to work: keeping you signed in, remembering the currency you chose, and a security check (Google reCAPTCHA) that stops spam sign-ups. We don't use advertising cookies or track you across other sites.
Our lawful reasons
- To give you what you signed up for (contract): your membership, profile, exchange places and pen pal matches, and the emails that go with them.
- Your consent: sharing your address or contact details with your match. You can withdraw it any time before matching by emailing us.
- Legal obligation: keeping payment records for tax purposes.
- Legitimate interests: keeping the site secure and free of spam, and making sure gifts reach everyone.
Who else handles your details
We use a small number of trusted services to run the site, and they only use your details to provide their service to us:
- Wix: website hosting, member accounts, forms, emails and checkout.
- Stripe: card payments for chip-ins.
- Google reCAPTCHA: spam protection on sign-up.
The currency converter fetches exchange rates from Frankfurter, a public rates service. No personal information is sent to it.
Some of these services store data outside the UK, including in the United States. When that happens, it's protected by the safeguards the law requires, such as the UK International Data Transfer Agreement or the UK–US data bridge.
How long we keep it
- Your account and profile: until you delete them.
- Gift exchange sign-ups: deleted three months after that exchange ends.
- Gift-by-post requests: the address you share is deleted once it has been emailed to the member; the request record is kept for twelve months.
- Pen pal details and hello notes: until you leave the list or delete your account, and hello notes no longer than twelve months.
- Payment records: six years, as required for tax.
- Messages and nominations: up to twelve months.
Your rights
You can ask to see the information we hold about you, correct it, delete it, limit or object to how we use it, or receive a copy to take elsewhere. You can also withdraw your consent at any time.
- Download your profile or delete your account yourself from My profile, under “Your data”.
- For anything else, email admin@deareldestdaughter.co. We'll reply within one month.
If you're unhappy with how we've handled your information, please tell us first so we can put it right. You also have the right to complain to the Information Commissioner's Office at ico.org.uk, or to the data protection authority where you live.
Who can join
Dear Eldest Daughter is for adults aged 18 and over. We don't knowingly collect information from anyone younger.
Changes to this notice
If we change how we use your information, we'll update this page and the date at the top. If it's a big change, we'll let members know by email.
